happy birthday max!

everyone always said that the 1st year will fly by....well, it has! it has been one of the best years of our lives getting to know this little man. he is a really good kid, very flexible, and always on the move...he fits into our world perfectly!

cruising around at his party....max has been taking steps for about a month and everyday he surprises us by choosing to walk a little further. if he could stand up on his own without holding onto something, he would definitely choose to walk instead of crawl. his little steps are just so cute and i love holding his hand while he walks around!
the party started at the Haslet Fire Station. the firemen were really nice and just opened up the garage and let the kids run and climb all over the trucks.

the party guests (well, some of them)

my mom and i spent the afternoon on party-eve making and decorating the cake and cupcakes. luckily i took a pic of the cake that day bc during the craziness of the party i forgot to.

i thought max would cry when everyone sang "happy birthday" but he just sat there with this expression. he pretty much just picked at the cake, but he did enjoy some spoonfuls of blue bell homemade vanilla!

all the kiddos loved the present part, and the older kids were very helpful too! max got some awesome stuff.

we are so thankful to all of our friends and family that have supported us through this first year of parenthood and who helped us celebrate in a big way!

on this day 10 years ago.

got on facebook today. read a bunch of posts about the aggie bonfire. remembered that day...

i was still sleeping when my mom called. she was a counsellor at the high school and wanted to be ready for any younger siblings of kids who may be impacted. i didn't even think of jerry.

i was driving through the bank when micah called, sobbing. "it's jerry. he was there. he's gone." shocked, i drove away with the container from the bank. i couldn't see i was crying too hard, driving too fast, going to the only place we knew to go, the place where we had met him.

"whose going to call? whose going to tell everyone else?" brandon screamed. ryan ran away. christina made us laugh. shannon was alone. we gathered at my moms and didn't know what to say, what to do.

still in disbelief at the visitation...clung to friends and tried to be strong.

the morning of the funeral we all met at jono's and headed to something i never thought i would. we got there early and sat close. ill never, ever forget the feeling of holding ryans hand, watching the casket close and sobbing. that was the hardest part, the casket closing. it always is for me.

and then we left and my life moved on.

occasionally i'm reminded of jerry. just this summer i found the program from his funeral and thought about him and that day for while. but on days like this, i realize that when my life went on, i didn't think about him. not the way others do. the ones who miss him everyday, in every moment. and when i think about them, i push the knot down further and try not to think about it....any of it.

happy halloween!

we had a great halloween with our little fireman!

we went to our neighborhood festival for a bit in the afternoon and then trick or treating that night. we let max try his first piece of candy...a dumdum lollipop! yummy!
how could we resist a picture with a real firetruck?

love this one...it totally looks like tysen is giving max all the info on how to lick a lollipop..what a great big cousin he is!

the whole gang....captian huggie face (annabelle), dinosaur (ian), ninja turtle (logan), devil bride (reanna), queen (lilly), giraffe (tysen), and our fireman max!

holidays are so fun as a family of 3

the littlest trick or treaters