family

so i'm driving home today and i'm listening to a cd that i borrowed from joey. this song comes on that i like alot, "not gonna think about you" and as i'm listening to the words, tears start to form in my eyes. it hit me....she's leaving, they are leaving, he's already gone. who? you ask. my family. see my little sis leaves for college in the fall, my other sis and her husband leave for honduras in the fall, my brother has been gone for a long time and the truth is, i haven't been thinking about it. and if i want to be honest with myself, its because i'm scared. i've never been a part from them for very long...i've never had dinner at my moms without at least one of them being there....i've never realized how much i've taken for granted that we all live in the same place. man, i'm really gonna miss them. i just can't think about it. i can't think about a birthday dinner, a holiday, a sunday afternoon arguing over what to watch on tv....without them. so until the reality of it happens, i think i'll choose to "not think about you"...leaving that is.